Eugenio's Blog!

Entonces, voy a hablar en español. No, no I better not.

I drove out to Clyde, Ohio [population 6,064] Sunday afternoon to get some laundry done, and I realized that I really need to get out more. I want to check out the scene in Clyde one day. I want a vintage t-shirt from some establishment on it – maybe the ice cream shop. I was truly hoping for the sale of t-shirts at the laundromat today. Wouldn’t that be awesome? A t-shirt with a washing machine and “Freddy’s Laundromat – Clyde, Ohio.” Too rad, too bad.

So at the laundromat, I met this kid named James. He drives this pimped out silver Cadillac. I was outside reading [one of my summer books, Blood of My Blood: The Dilemma of Italian-Americans] after putting my clothes in the washer, and we just started talking. James is the 22-year old manager at Freddy’s Laundromat. Apparently, managers at laundromats get a pretty nice earning.

After talking with James for about thirty minutes, we hit the religion topic. Yes, I know – don’t talk about religion or politics after first meeting someone. Well, James brought it up. I felt comfortable sharing with James my non-belief in supernatural forces, and he shared his strong Pentecostal faith and how his father is a preacher. I have come to the realization that these people in Ohio are quite the religious types. That leaves me with three invitations to three separate churches in town – the Catholic one (invitation from my 65-year old attorney/outreach partner), the Christian Nondenominational one (invitation from a 35-year old paralegal at the office), and this James / Pentecostal one. Do I have a sign that says “I need Church” taped on me somewhere? (No yag yag remarks, please).

The relationship between me and James reached new heights as I filed a complaint with him about the drying machines. The washers cost $1.50 a load, which I thought was a bit on the DKNY-side myself. The dryers, however, were only a quarter. Okay, I figured it balances out.

So after my washing was done, I threw my clothes in the dryer and put in a quarter, went back outside to talk with James, and checked back 40 minutes later. The dryer was stopped, but the clothes were still wet. “Hmph,” I said, scratching my head. I went outside and asked James why my clothes were still wet. “How many quarters did you put in?” he asked.

“Dude, it says 25 cent.” And yeah, I made sure I used the singular form.

“Yeah, for 10 minutes,” James said.

“I ain’t see no sign dat say dat!”

“That’s how all laundromats work.”

I plugged in more quarters and everything turned out fine. Later on in the day, I called Colleen to make fun of this ludacris Ohio practice. Colleen, however, informed me that this was indeed a standard, and not ludacris, practice. I told her she be actin’ a fool.

“I don’t have to do nothing but stay black and die.” Principal Joe Clark, played by Morgan Freeman in Lean on Me.