Eugenio's Blog!

The longest semester of my life has joyfully come to a halt.

The semester started with a bang – getting to Iowa City a week before class to help with 1L Orientation and to write a ten-page paper for Journal. On the bright side, I had my last final Saturday morning, and I feel that I just lost twenty pounds of stress. [Aside: Can you weigh stress?]

So, where do I begin to update you? Let’s see . . .

My 97-year-old grandfather passed December 9, so I headed back to Chicago for the services in between finals. Gratefully, the law school was very accommodating to fit my final schedule needs. The services were as good as services can be, I guess.

[A moment of silence for Nonno Mariano.]

I have been victim no. 8,327,387,398,439 of credit card identity theft. I don’t want to advertise for the internet address that corruptly stole $1,000 from me, but let’s say that it’s a gambling website. I was really surprised when I checked my statement on-line, but the bank has reimbursed me all my funds.

I stole two people’s drinks at the Starbucks counter. After H and I said “Gosh, these lattes taste horrible,” a Starbucks person came up to us and said, “Yeah, those aren’t your drinks.” Completely embarrassing. Oh well, it happens.

This was the same night as the infamous political spectrum diagram that I devised, which has later been called the “Why-is-Gene-such-a-political-radical-and-why-is-he-my-friend? Chart.” D was pretty excited about it, and I think it will soon become part of the public domain. Looks like I’m never running for office . . . except maybe in the U.S.S.R.

I went to the Amana Colonies in Amana, Iowa Saturday after the final with my roommate. We ate at this old school authentic German restaurant and sampled a large selection of local wines. After, I accompanied a friend to her work Christmas party at a restaurant downtown. I sat across the most annoying person in the world. I don’t think anyone has ever annoyed me this much – he slurped (not rolled in a fork) his fettuccini alfredo. I was disgusted.

What else . . .

Oh yeah . . . I have recently accepted my summer position! As fate has it, I have chosen to work at a place that will pay the least out of all my offers. I will be working for the Farmworker Unit of Legal Aid of North Carolina in Raleigh! The program fits all of my main desires: (1) Labor connection, (2) Immigration connection, and (3) Spanish-speaking clients. Similar to a priest calling, I have been asked to take vows of poverty and celibacy. I start the first week of June and will be there for ten weeks. I expect regular weekend visits.

I’ll write more over break, hopefully . . . have a safe holiday!

Recall an earlier posting of mine [dated October 6] where I was outraged that Merriam-Webster did not recognize the word “blog.” Back then I said, "When is the English Language committee going to get off its bottom & do something about this? It’s almost 2005, people!"

Well, the English Language committee has responded to my concern.

Because of my mobilization efforts, I am proud to inform my readers that the word “blog,” which less than two months ago had no formal language recognition according to Merriam-Webster, is now the 2004 #1 Word of the Year!

"Nobody says you have to be gangstas, hoes
Read more, learn more, change the globe
Ghetto children, do your thing
Hold your head up, little man, you're a king."

Nas, "I Can"

Earlier this week, two federal judges negated the Solomon Amendment. The Solomon Amendment denied colleges federal money if they refused to allow military recruiters on campus because of the military’s discrimination against openly gay individuals.

What’s the FOXNews twist, you ask? Our hero, Bill O’Reilly, is claiming that these “activist” judges are “anti-military.” Next week, I project that the term will be “anti-American,” to be quickly followed by “pinkie-Benedict-Arnolds-who-harbor-terrorists-and-threaten-our-freedom.”

There are some hilarious remarks in O’Reilly’s interpretation:

(1) According to O’Reilly, the Appellate Court opinion contains “a whole bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.” “LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO?!” I will be sure to use that precise language on a couple of final exams next week. “Eh . . . who really cares about Brown v. Board of Education . . . it’s really just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.” I think that is a surefire way of giving any law professor a heart attack on the spot.

(2) According to O’Reilly, “logic will dictate.” It’s completely logical to openly discriminate against diverse sexual orientations. Why would be need to be concerned about established law or people? . . . we’ll just rely on our “logic.” Of course, it’s so simple.

(3) According to O’Reilly, “[t]his revenge of the gay lobby is hurting the country which is in the middle of World War III as we all know.” We’re in World War III? Dude, I know I have been busy with school and everything, but I did not know this. What classifies the state of the world as WWIII? Is it the fact that the United States is destroying lesser-developed countries on many international fronts? Using this logic, and “logic will dictate” [see (2)], the United States has been in WWIII since, I don’t know, the 40s?

(4) This overruling of the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy is “not only a shame, it's dangerous.” And what’s the result of distorted journalism with a side effect of fear and panic? President Bush for another four years.

And that’s the memo.