jueves, diciembre 02, 2004
Spare me your flowery rhetoric
Earlier this week, two federal judges negated the Solomon Amendment. The Solomon Amendment denied colleges federal money if they refused to allow military recruiters on campus because of the military’s discrimination against openly gay individuals.
What’s the FOXNews twist, you ask? Our hero, Bill O’Reilly, is claiming that these “activist” judges are “anti-military.” Next week, I project that the term will be “anti-American,” to be quickly followed by “pinkie-Benedict-Arnolds-who-harbor-terrorists-and-threaten-our-freedom.”
There are some hilarious remarks in O’Reilly’s interpretation:
(1) According to O’Reilly, the Appellate Court opinion contains “a whole bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.” “LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO?!” I will be sure to use that precise language on a couple of final exams next week. “Eh . . . who really cares about Brown v. Board of Education . . . it’s really just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.” I think that is a surefire way of giving any law professor a heart attack on the spot.
(2) According to O’Reilly, “logic will dictate.” It’s completely logical to openly discriminate against diverse sexual orientations. Why would be need to be concerned about established law or people? . . . we’ll just rely on our “logic.” Of course, it’s so simple.
(3) According to O’Reilly, “[t]his revenge of the gay lobby is hurting the country which is in the middle of World War III as we all know.” We’re in World War III? Dude, I know I have been busy with school and everything, but I did not know this. What classifies the state of the world as WWIII? Is it the fact that the United States is destroying lesser-developed countries on many international fronts? Using this logic, and “logic will dictate” [see (2)], the United States has been in WWIII since, I don’t know, the 40s?
(4) This overruling of the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy is “not only a shame, it's dangerous.” And what’s the result of distorted journalism with a side effect of fear and panic? President Bush for another four years.
And that’s the memo.
What’s the FOXNews twist, you ask? Our hero, Bill O’Reilly, is claiming that these “activist” judges are “anti-military.” Next week, I project that the term will be “anti-American,” to be quickly followed by “pinkie-Benedict-Arnolds-who-harbor-terrorists-and-threaten-our-freedom.”
There are some hilarious remarks in O’Reilly’s interpretation:
(1) According to O’Reilly, the Appellate Court opinion contains “a whole bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.” “LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO?!” I will be sure to use that precise language on a couple of final exams next week. “Eh . . . who really cares about Brown v. Board of Education . . . it’s really just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo.” I think that is a surefire way of giving any law professor a heart attack on the spot.
(2) According to O’Reilly, “logic will dictate.” It’s completely logical to openly discriminate against diverse sexual orientations. Why would be need to be concerned about established law or people? . . . we’ll just rely on our “logic.” Of course, it’s so simple.
(3) According to O’Reilly, “[t]his revenge of the gay lobby is hurting the country which is in the middle of World War III as we all know.” We’re in World War III? Dude, I know I have been busy with school and everything, but I did not know this. What classifies the state of the world as WWIII? Is it the fact that the United States is destroying lesser-developed countries on many international fronts? Using this logic, and “logic will dictate” [see (2)], the United States has been in WWIII since, I don’t know, the 40s?
(4) This overruling of the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy is “not only a shame, it's dangerous.” And what’s the result of distorted journalism with a side effect of fear and panic? President Bush for another four years.
And that’s the memo.
